Summer Lovin’…

Hi everyone! I’m baaaaaaack. Missed me? As if.

So I managed to get through a month of fasting – it was tough in the heat but pushed through and actually it was quite rewarding having some space to just think about who I am now and how much things have changed since this time last year so feeling very positive!

Also had my family over for a couple of weeks from India which was a lovely distraction and just what I needed!

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Obviously the moment it finished I got my apps back online to see what I’d missed. Not much really – people that I had matched with but not spoken to I just unmatched and decided to start afresh. I’ve been out and about flat hunting so while I was doing that, I decided to get on it and see if I could meet someone living near that area – and it worked!

I matched with someone on bumble last weekend, we exchanged a few messages and agreed to meet and that was that – so no actual messaging in between which was quite nice because it meant we would have lots to talk about. Or so I thought…

Cue a very nervous and slightly awkward date that lasted approx 90 minutes (ironic as we had agreed to skip the football and meet instead) and he could not have got out there fast enough when it was over! I thought I was trying quite hard – asking a lot of questions and trying to keep the mood light but I think he was definitely nervous and also a little bit unused to people asking him questions. He told me he had been on some bad dates and never been in a serious relationship… but he also didn’t seem to really be listening to anything I said because he kept changing the subject or just not really getting what I was saying.

Safe to say there won’t be a second date which is fine, there wasn’t really any kind of spark and also, I need someone who’s going to actually listen to what I say because I talk a lot!

Need to now get back online properly since the sun is out and London feels like a great city to date in when the weather is good! Next update to follow soon hopefully but before I go, two quick things.

Firstly – I had another date a while ago that I actually forgot about… clearly it was not a good date but I only remembered when I was flicking back on my posts and I feel that the whole point of this is to share everything with my lovely readers so here it goes. About two months ago-ish – I did something I know you should never do and I never will again – but I went round to a guys house for the first date. In my defence, it was a 10 minute drive from my own house and I just figured it would be more convenient because it was a Sunday and we had been trying to make plans to meet during the week and they kept failing.

To cut a long story short, I got to his, he looked like a miniature version of the man in his pictures, he gave me a grand tour of his house which was very boring because he was very arrogant about it and kept telling me how much it all cost, we watched a film that was one hour and forty minutes, I sat as far away from him as possible and the minute the film was over I told him I was really tired and basically ran away. Just was no fun at all and got a really really bad vibe from him. Lesson learned to not do that again – but can confirm that Get Out is a really good film and it’s the only reason I didn’t leave sooner!

Second thing is that I just want to give a quick shout out to my friend B. If you’re reading this (scrap that, you better be!) then just want to say a huge thank you to you for all your amazing support. All my friends have been brilliant and I know I’m very lucky but B has had a lot of her own stuff going on which makes me even more grateful that I am blessed enough to have her in my life. I’m just coming back from a very random and unplanned weekend with her and I had the most amazing time and it really makes my appreciate how important she is. I’m never going to say that I don’t regret all the bad stuff that has happened or wish that things had worked out differently but I know it’s all for a reason and the wonderful things I get to do now that I never would have been able to do before are a testament to that. Thanks for being my soulie.

Think that’s enough for now – byeeeeeeee.

Xx

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A New Hope

Hello hello world!

Wow I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since my last post – I was aiming to get better but I haven’t really have I!

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So A and I had a lovely time in Prague – would highly recommend the city to anyone thinking about it, it’s so beautiful! Go during the week though, apparently the weekend is when all the stags come out! Seriously, have never seen that many large groups of men in my life – we were literally the only women in the airport on the way home last weekend, bizarre.

So date wise, a few updates. App guy and I have been in touch and decided not to see each other again – I think because we were so honest with each other doing that quiz, it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t going to go anywhere long term and that’s what he’s looking for so parted ways but he was really nice about it so left me feeling absolutely fine…

I am seeing ‘arms’ again in a few weeks – I’m going to be in Manchester and he’s going to be in London so we’ve agreed to catch up. I’m not holding my breath or anything but he’s good company and those arms are enough to keep me interested for the moment anyway!

Yesterday evening I attended a wedding – my cousin’s wedding actually. To be clear, she’s not actually my cousin and the actual relation is one that’s so complicated I don’t even know where to start but we’re very close too so I just say cousin as that’s easier. She’s a couple of years older than me and actually was married for a brief time when she was really young, about 21. Things didn’t work out and she’s had a bit of a rocky time in between, not just trying to find someone but she’s had a lot of other things going on too.

When she called me to tell me she was getting married, my heart literally jumped for joy. She deserves to be happy so so much – and when I saw her a few days ago, she was just glowing and looked the best she had in a long time. The wedding was really beautiful – it was a fairly small affair as Asian weddings go because she wanted to keep it small and it was so clear that everyone there was just so genuinely happy for the two of them who had found each other.

I had the most amazing time – I hadn’t really been looking forward to seeing the extended family really, as it was the first time I’d seen them since my own relationship status seems to have become public knowledge – but it was absolutely fine. No one said anything to me, there was the odd comment here and there but i’m strong enough now to ignore those – and when my beautiful cousin walked into the room she took my breath away! She was dazzling and looked amazing and seeing her and her new husband together make me feel absolutely ecstatic.

I suppose it’s given me hope in a way, even though every part of me still does very much believe that I will find someone again and feel happy in a relationship again, it’s nice to have actually seen it happen again for someone I care about. They just looked complete together and it was an honour to witness it.

Anyway, enough rambling! I start fasting this week so therefore I shall be taking a break from the dating world – i’m going to use this month to focus on myself and think about what I want to do with my life really. Rest assured I will be back in June with grand dating plans so until then, I bid you adieu.

xx

A Busy Ten Days!

Hi everyone! Feels like it’s been ages since I updated you as a fair bit has happened in a whole ten days.
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I had a date last weekend with a nice app developer – always useful for me to have contacts who work in tech as I am absolutely useless! We hit it off and actually ended up spending the whole afternoon/ evening together on Sunday – he was just really nice and made me feel really comfortable which I think is so hard to feel on a first date but he just had a knack for it.
We followed up with a second date this weekend which was also really good – went for a picnic in the park which was really lovely – until it started raining, classic British weather. We ended up in a bar instead which is never a bad thing and again just had a really nice time and a good chat. He suggested we do this ‘36 questions to fall in love’ thing which was from a New York Times article and was actually really interesting. The premise is that when your emotionally vulnerable with someone from the outset then it’s a good way of breaking down barriers and getting to really know them. The questions were a mix of things from which celebrity would you invite to dinner, to what is your most treasured memory – some were a little bit more dark and deep but we skipped over those as they felt like they were ruining the mood a little!
Would definitely suggest it to anyone in the early stages of a relationship, it really opens your eyes to what people are like and it’s so brave to be honest straight away so I liked it a lot – it’s always ideal to try and skip the small talk. Plus, as I said to him, the one thing I’m worried about is sharing all the details with someone of your life so far – how do you explain your childhood and your family to someone who doesn’t know you?
My ex and I were together for so long that a lot of things happened while we were together so I never had to tell him, he was just always there. One of the questions was ‘explain your life story in four minutes’ which helped me get over that barrier pretty quickly! App man is very nice and I would definitely be up for seeing him again if he’s keen, so will leave that out there and see if there’s an update soon!
I also had a second date with the guy I went to sixth form with, henceforth known as Mr Nice Guy. Second date was dinner post gym so in fairness I was feeling pretty tired, but it just felt a bit stilted – and I didn’t enjoy myself as much as I did on the first date. I think in my head I just knew that actually we were not compatible – he’s super nice (perhaps too nice..) and that’s just not what I’m after right now which I appreciate makes me sound odd but he wants someone conscientious (his word not mine) and also I think he didn’t have a problem with, but was not on board with, the fact that I drink. It’s not a big deal and religiously I’m not supposed to, and I only started drinking about 18 months ago, but I do and it’s part of my life now so I need someone who fits with who I am now rather than who I used to be.
He did ask if we could meet again so I was very honest and just told him that I felt we weren’t compatible in the long run but would be happy to see him as friends if he wanted… to which he asked why specifically and if there was anything wrong with the dates. He wanted feedback! So I told him I thought he was really nice and perhaps too nice for me. He didn’t disagree and thanked me for my honesty. We’ve sort of left it there, he still wants to be friends but we shall see if that ever leads to anything!
The next couple of weeks are super busy at work and then I’m going away with A next week for her birthday and the bank holiday weekend so no doubt there will be a post holiday update!
Until then…
xx

A Walk In The Park

Hi everyone!

As promised, a far more positive update! Since I last posted, I have had three first dates, all of which have been pretty good if I’m honest.

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The first was a random one – Tinder decided to go and delete everyone’s matches but I managed to relocate mine and someone messaged to ask if I wanted to cut the bullshit and just meet for a drink which was actually a nice change. Instead of making small talk, we just met up straight away. He was dog sitting for his neighbour and invited me out on a walk with him and the dog – who can say no to that?! It was nice, we met up at his local station and took the dog for a nice long walk around the area and into the park where there were lots of other dogs around.

It was an unusual and really fun date – I didn’t really think there was any spark or anything and I assume he felt the same as neither of us have been in touch since but it was a fun thing to do and I’m glad I went. Was nice to do something where there was a little less pressure to just constantly ask questions and keep the conversation flowing whereas the dog offered something to focus attention on.

I then had a date with another guy I met on Tinder – we had like 30 mutual friends and turns out he joined my school for sixth form but neither of us remember each other from school. We met in central and went for a drink at a club that he’s a member of – the weather was quite nice so we managed to sit on the roof and enjoy it. It was a good date, he was very sweet and a real gent and actually asked some really good questions. It was good chat really and half way through he asked me on date two which I was a bit surprised by but I did say yes… I’m not like a thousand per cent sure but I did like him and get on with him so I think saying yes is the right decision. Can always change my mind!

Finally, I had a third first date this week. It’s one I’ve been mulling on for a while as he is much younger than me – he’s someone I’ve known for a few months – but decided to just go for it and we went out for a few drinks. It was actually really fun! Really relaxed and easy and chilled and just made me feel really good because I wasn’t worrying about trying to find a potential partner because I know that this isn’t going anywhere, but it was really nice to just have a laugh and a bit of fun. I am undecided about whether I’m going to see him again, it would be nice to but the age thing does bother me more than it should (he’s 21, i’m 30…) – I know really it shouldn’t be a big deal and talking to him it doesn’t feel like he’s that age but it’s kind of on my mind.

I shall make a decision at some point and let you know! In other news, it was a crazy week at work and I still managed to find time to fit these in so i’m feeling very pleased with myself! Plus the sun is finally starting to show it’s face and I feel like dating in the summer months is going to be so much easier…

xx

A Rant & A Confession

Hi everyone! Time for a bank holiday update – I had an amazing holiday with my family in Madrid and have come back feeling super charged and energised! I did try and get on the apps when I was out there but the few people I matched with didn’t have a great grasp of English and it felt like not quite the right environment for it so I have a few people I’m speaking to at the moment and am going to line a few up. Watch this space.

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In other news, the other day my cousin and her Mum came round to visit. My cousin is a year younger than me and is also getting divorced – hers is for a different reason. My marriage broke down over a long period of time where actually her ex husband just sounds like an idiot.

It was the first time I’d seen her Mum in a while, she and I catch up quite a lot and she seems to be handling it all pretty well. Her mum on the other hand was so upset and it really frustrated me that part of the reason she was so upset was because while all of this has been happening, she hadn’t been able to talk to anyone.

There’s such a stigma attached to the word divorce in Asian culture. People still whisper and talk about you behind your back if they’ve heard from someone a million miles removed from you that’s something has gone wrong with your marriage because we’re all supposed to be perfect and just suck it up and stay married even if we’re unhappy – that’s what used to be the norm.

Once people finally come round to the fact that a divorce is happening, it then becomes about blame. What happened – did the girl do something and does it mean she’s used goods now? Will she ever get married again? Will someone want her now that she’s been married and has all this baggage?

I think people forget that it’s so easy when it’s not happening to you to just think about the gossip and the fun stuff that you can talk to people about – when you’re living through a divorce and having to get through the day to day of it all when your world collapses, the last thing you need to worry about is what people are saying about you.

I can’t even put into words how much I’m dreading the next family event where I have to see everyone. The word is out now that I’m getting divorced and that means I’ll be facing an interrogation from every single person I meet. I didn’t tell anyone apart from close friends and family initially because it isn’t their business and it’s not exactly the kind of news you want to shout from the rooftops but now I’m bracing myself for questions.

I’m lucky, my immediate family understand everything and I have great friends but nothing can make you feel smaller than some auntie you don’t even know telling you your time is running out and that ultimately no matter what actually happened, everyone will think it’s your fault.

Anyway rant over, onto my confession. I’ve started to notice that once I write something on this blog, it actually really helps me move on and so I think I owe it to myself to say this. Just a side note here that I will try and limit the mentions I make to my own marriage and divorce from now on because this is supposed to be a fun take on new age dating but I’m just kind of seeing what happens when I write!

So anyway, the actual story and breakdown of my marriage happened over a really long time and only people who need to know that story do because it’s still really hard for me to tell it and accept it but I’ve been thinking recently about the moment I knew it was over and that’s what I want to fess up to. We separated last February/ March and even though I moved home I still thought there was hope for us. In August, I went away for my birthday with my amazing friends and had simply the best holiday I could have asked for and exactly what I needed. When we landed back, it was my 30th birthday. I genuinely thought that my ex would be at the airport to pick me. When he wasn’t there, my heart broke – and that’s when I knew. I’m sharing this so that hopefully I can stop thinking about it and move on, but also so that people know that when you’re the one losing a relationship, you’ll keep holding on right until the bitter end and that’s ok. Everyone around me knew it was over and had told me but I had to get there on my own.

That’s enough emotion for one day – promise the next one will be hugely entertaining!

X

My First Second Date

Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay between posts, I’m really not as efficient at this blog life as I thought I would be!

The good thing though is that I have actual things to update you on which is exciting for me!

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So first things first, I went to Manchester last weekend and I had my first second date with ‘arms.’ He’s very attractive, it really baffles me that he’s single but also that he wanted to see me again. I did have to go all the way there though which was already a con on the list.

So the date was really really good, he had great chat and we did quite a few things which was nice rather than just the usual dinner and drinks. We did eat and drink because I can’t not eat but we also walked around the city a lot and he was showing me around, and we also went and did junkyard golf which was a great date spot, really fun.

We ended the date pretty late on the Friday evening after a few more drinks and he walked me back to my hotel and we said our goodbyes. I did enjoy the date BUT it felt a bit weird to me that at no point did he try and initiate any kind of physical contact. Now obviously that makes me sound a bit mental but even as we were sitting and chatting and playing golf which is quite a relaxed thing to do, there was no touching at all.

I mean, there was from me, at one point I even managed to use his arm to steady myself onto a stool – I just wanted to feel his arm really but all evening I was being quite engaging and he was not reciprocating. This left me feeling a bit rubbish because I took it quite personally but we have messaged since and talked about seeing each other again and stuff but I’m not going to get my hopes up or anything because the city is far away and I’m also still keen to date lots of different people right now! I feel like I like him but not enough to worry about it.

I’ve had a few opinions from different people on this, some people have said I should just not see him again because the physical stuff is important and there’s no point in trying with someone who isn’t interested.. and some people have said maybe he’s just a bit shy and being respectful and also taking it slowly because we’re so far apart. Any additional thoughts appreciated as always!

The rest of the weekend in Manchester was really fun and I caught up with some friends and had an amazing night out – and also visited the cat cafe which is essentially my idea of heaven and actually spending some time on my own in a different city was really good to help clear my head a bit.

This week was a bit up and down for me emotionally and I don’t really know why or what triggered it but I’m just trying to keep positive and keep it together and not dwell too much in the past if I can. There was also loads of stuff in the news this week about the gender pay gap and that kind of stuff really makes you think about your life choices I think. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even ready to make choices about having children and the impact it’ll have on my career – and I need to work out what I want and then worry about finding a partner who supports my choices.

X

PS – I also sneaked in a date the weekend before with an amazing 6ft 5 American basketball player which was a lot of fun, we literally went for a couple of drinks and just had a good chat and a laugh but nothing more at all. We didn’t exchange numbers as we had been speaking via app and he unmatched me during the week which I thought would bother me but actually it didn’t in the slightest!

Speed Dating – check!

So we’re now into March and i’m making sure that I’m still checking things off my resolution list – so I dragged A along to a speed dating event this week.

I didn’t want to start off with anything too serious so instead of a standard speed dating set up, I went for a Jenga speed date which just sounded like it might be a bit more relaxed and also offered something a little different which would hopefully break the ice a little bit.

This card below is from one of the girls on our table – I’ve covered up the names of course but she wrote down key words about each of the guys – brilliant!

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I have to say, I had a brilliant time! It was such a laugh and there was a great vibe in the bar and throughout the evening. The set up was a little unique, we played Jenga in groups so there were five girls on our table and groups of guys would circulate moving from table to table. The bricks had questions and dares on them which made the whole thing quite fun – but it was a bit tricky to work out if you actually liked anyone because you didn’t get any alone time with them.

The girls that we ended up sharing a table with were amazing – huge shout out to them if they ever read this – we bonded straight away and actually it took the pressure off with the group setting since we got on so well, otherwise it might have felt like we were in competition with them! Huge shout out also to every guy that was there – they had all come by themselves which I just think is so brave – it’s hard putting yourself out there no matter what so to just show up to this kind of thing takes real guts.

There was one really sweet guy on our table who answered a question where he had to describe himself in three words and he said ‘shy, clumsy and tall’ – and I just thought that was so sweet. For someone shy trying to meet someone it’s difficult, let alone really breaking out of your comfort zone and throwing yourself into this kind of situation. Well done mate!

As for the guys themselves – some of them were really nice but just not my type. There was one guy who thought he was super suave and one of his questions to answer was ‘tell us a secret’ – so he thought it would be a good idea to say ‘I fancy three of the girls on this table..’ – NO. That is not okay, quite trying to turn us against each other! Also, none of us picked him because that’s not a nice thing to do.

There was one guy who asked me to feel his jumper and asked me what material it was – you guessed it – boyfriend material…

There was also one absolutely hilarious guy who didn’t even bother trying to talk to any of us, and as soon as the round was over was out of there like a shot without even saying bye to any of us – evidently none of us were were his type!

I didn’t actually tick anyone on my score sheet – only because I didn’t feel any kind of connection with anyone – but I would definitely do this kind of thing and now i’m feeling a lot more confident about attempting proper speed dating!

I’m signing off now because I have to go and watch another episode of Queer Eye and cry my eyes out, but also because I have a date tonight and I need to go and wash my hair…

x

International Womens Day

I haven’t written a blog in a while (an update is coming this weekend on speed dating!) but in the interim, A and I went to the march4women last weekend and it got us thinking about strong women who are leading the way for the rest of us, each and every day, whether we see them or not.

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When I look at my life, I am always astounded by the sheer amount of love that I am surrounded by and most of that does come from women – from family and friends and colleagues and people who I went to school with and acquaintances and everyone else. I’m in no way suggesting that men don’t do the same, of course they do, but this post isn’t about that.

It’s about paying tribute to the women who inspire me everyday. My mum – the ultimate soldier! My mum had a tough job ahead of her to raise me and my sister as we are the first generation of my family from here. There was no one here for her to learn from and she did it practically all by herself. My sister and I were the first girls in our family to go to university and this was something my mum pushed us both to do, there was no other option and for that I am so grateful. To my mum, who uprooted her entire life so that our generation could have something better, there are not enough words to describe how thankful I am.

To my sister, the best example of how fighting for yourself and what you want I will ever see. She knew what she wanted to do with her life and who she wanted to spend it with and fought so hard for it – and I’m always so proud of that and for sharing some of those genes! The easy way out would have been to accept defeat but had she done that, I wouldn’t have my two beautiful nephews or constantly be in awe of what real love looks like and what it can achieve.

It’s very easy to overlook the role that women are supposed to play in Asian culture and the specific things that are expected of us. Sometimes I’ll be at a ‘family function’ and the comments are endless – when are you having a baby? You’re getting on a bit aren’t you? Why haven’t you found a good man yet? Why do you work in London, you shouldn’t travel on the trains. If you start a family then you have to quit your job. Why waste money going on holiday? No one wants a girl who can’t cook.

I know that most of these come from some kind of good place – historically the role of the family is to make sure a girl marries into a good home and is looked after, and then starts a family of her own. But I’ve gone and disrupted that vision of what people think is normal and honestly they do not know what to do or how to react!

I am 30 and in the prime of my life – I have an amazing job, brilliant friends and I travel and learn about myself everyday. I’m free in a way that I never have been before and I refuse to feel bad about that because I don’t fit the cultural norm of what a girl my age should have achieved. Rant over.

To all the BAME woman who have endured all that they have so that I would be lucky enough to not only have all the rights and education that I do, but that I have the freedom to make my own choices in life. Too often we allow ourselves to be judged not only by society but by other women but as someone wise once said, real queens help each other fix their crowns, they don’t tear them down, they build them up.

To my friends who I am eternally grateful for just always being there, through good days and bad days. To my friends getting divorced and going through break ups – know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that you burn brightly enough on your own. To my single friends out there looking for love and to settle down – you will get there. It’s a long road but when you find it, it’ll be so worth the wait and until then, it means we can have adventures together. Take this time to enjoy your own company, travel and do the things you love. Stand up and be counted and make a difference to the world around you. Remember that you are enough on your own, even if some days it doesn’t feel like that and if you ever need a reminder, I’m right here.

To all the women who are silent fighters, still living in places where being a women makes you a second class citizen – know that we hear you and we see you and we fight for you.

Happy international women’s day to all the women out there – to all those in my life, to all those fighting their own struggles who still show up to work and get it done – you are bad ass and you are incredible! Together we’re stronger and if this last year has taught me anything it’s that you can do anything when you have your squad with you.

With all my love and respect always,

X

A Weekend To Remember

This weekend marks one year to the day that I moved home. It’s got me feeling all sorts of emotions if I’m honest – part of me feels happy that it’s already been a year and that I’ve made it. Everything feels like it should get easier from here on because I’ve done the first of everything and in theory that means things should start looking up.

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On the other hand, all I wanted to do this weekend was wallow – I ordered a pizza for the first time in I don’t know how long, ate ice cream and popcorn and chocolate and just generally let myself feel sad for all the things that I miss. I often find myself wondering if I was still married, what would I be doing now? Would I be buying a house? Or having a baby? Or would I still be spending time feeling really lonely and isolated because I didn’t want to admit that my marriage was falling to pieces? Then I have to reign myself in because I know that going down that what if path is dangerous.

Instead, I spent yesterday letting myself feel a bit sad because I think it’s important to allow my brain and heart do what they need to do – and then I reminded myself of a beautiful postcard that the wonderful Phoebe gave me on Valentine’s Day that said ‘healing is not linear.’

I want to take this opportunity to thank every single one of my friends who has been there for me this past year. It really has been a learning for me and made me grow as a person, and taught me who my true friends are. To everyone who has sent me a message about this blog, supported me on my journey, given me a hug when I’ve needed a lift or sent me a little emoji to put a smile on my face – you will never ever know the power of that small gift. To my girls who held me up as my life fell apart, and my team at work who have become my family now, thank you all.

I started reading the hilarious and wonderful ‘Everything I Know About Love’ by the talented Dolly Alderton and although I haven’t finished it yet, what has struck me most so far is how much your friendships as a female define who you are and the life choices you make. I can honestly say that the people who are in my life at the moment are all in it because I have chosen them to be – I have culled a lot of people on the way and now that I’m in my thirties I am pretty prepared to embrace who I am and who I need by my side.

To anyone who is going through a break up – remember that you can do it. If I can do it, and not only be standing up a year later but standing tall and ready to get out there and share my story, you definitely can! Yes, I have bad days where it suddenly hits me all over again that a decade of my life has sort of gone missing – but then I have other days where everything else in my life has fallen into place and I feel really proud of myself.

I have days where I do not want to get out of bed and I feel lonely and all I want is a cuddle – but then I remember that I am lucky enough to be fit and well and I can go and find someone to cuddle if I want. The option is there for me to take and I’m grateful for it. I really do hope that I will find love again – and that it is part of my story – but if I don’t then that’s ok. I have a family who I love so much and have taken this so much in their stride that I am constantly surprised by them. I have friends who give me so much love that I have never felt more valued or supported in myself.

I started this blog a mere seven weeks ago and already it’s made me feel better about myself – it’s forcing me to get out of my comfort zone which I think is a challenge but also essential because if I don’t push myself, who will? I’m ticking off my resolutions one by one and you know what, this whole thing might be a bust and I might just end up going round in dating circles but at least I’m doing it – right?!

x

Dublin Update

Hi everyone! Sorry it has taken me so long, this is well overdue!

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So before Dublin, it was the anti-Valentine’s day evening with A which I can tell you was… not great. We had some logistical and navigational issues meaning we were unable to locate our event – so we just had dinner and dessert instead. It was still a lovely evening and A and I always have plenty of adventures so this was just another failed evening out to add to the list!

I also had a date last week – with a lovely guy who I met on Bumble. We had actually started talking ages ago and had made a plan to meet but I had to cancel on the day as I went to visit my aunt in hospital (she’s fine now!) – and then the next time he cancelled, then I was away so it was pretty long overdue!

It was an interesting date – we met at Waterloo which he suggested but is actually a terrible date location. We left the station following his directions but we ended up just walking in a massive circle and into the depths of Waterloo where there isn’t much going on.. stumbled into a random hotel and went for a drink in the bar. He was really nice, easy to talk to and quite funny but it turns out he isn’t from the UK which is obviously completely fine but English was not his first language and so it made the conversation a little stilted.

Anyone who knows me know that I speak really quickly – and also I think British humour is quite specific so he just really didn’t understand some of what I was going on about. He was really attractive – we only stayed for one drink because it was late and I needed to get home to pack as we were flying to Dublin the day after – but I just wasn’t really feeling any kind of spark.

He messaged me later that evening asking to see me again and I said yes because I was a little undecided – but I messaged him earlier this week and was just honest with him, and said I had a nice time but didn’t think there was anything there so would be happy to see him again as friends… and he said he would like that. Might just leave that there for the moment.

Dublin was incredible. Annoyingly I got hit by the flu on day two so my poor friends had to deal with me being cranky and low on energy but before that, we had a brilliant time sightseeing and had the best night out enjoying the Irish pub culture complete with a brilliant live music scene – danced the night away in a converted church and got home at 5am! The following morning we visited the Guinness factory where I poured and drank my very first pint. The trip was epic and I definitely want to go back for longer.

In other news, I have a few people I still need to confirm dates with from the apps, and have also booked my very first speed dating event – Jenga speed dating with A. I’m also thinking about downloading and trying some of the Asian dating apps but not sure so any thoughts would be appreciated!

UPDATE – second date confirmed with ‘arms’ from Manchester. Yes, this time I will be making a trip to see him but i’ve combined it into a weekend away with my friends. I may have chosen the destination based on him but it seemed silly to wait so long to see him again…

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